Who Pays the Bill?

Recently Emma Watson, the Harry Potter actress, has been lauded for promoting the cause of women's rights and feminism. She recounted how a date had been mortified when she had attempted to pick up the bill after a meal. He couldn't have been concerned that she might use up what little pocket money she had since she has a fortune of tens of millions of pounds. The likelihood is her attempting to pay may have threatened his notion of masculinity. This may go some way to explaining the prevalent custom in many parts of Africa where men almost exclusively foot the bill for everything when out with a woman. It is seen as the man's rightful duty. Not to do so would diminish him in the eyes of the woman, himself and all around them. This may date back to a time when men were hunters and gatherers; and women were homemakers but the stone ages are long behind us now; and one would have hoped that so was that mindset. 

In Nigeria the idea of a woman paying the bill for a date is largely unheard of. And I suspect any men who suggest splitting the bill or asking the woman to pay won't be going on many more dates. Some women would say that since the man asks the woman out it is only natural he foots the bill. Yet the reason why men have to make the first move is that it is what culture demands. And the man picking up the bill is his way of showing that he is worthy and of good standing. This another archaic notion that is best left back in the caves.

These ideas do persist though and if a woman attempts to swim against the tide she is labelled as a loose temptress or a pushy feminist. So what we end up with is women who treat men like meal tickets, and men who treat women like commodities. These are attitudes that are still being passed on to the next generation. This does not bode well for relationships or society as a whole. Whoever pays for a meal really shouldn't still be a bone of contention. A good start to any relationship is an ability to respect and appreciate each other. Paying the bill shouldn't become a power play.