The Will to do Better

I’m no fan of showbiz awards shows. I think they lack integrity and very rarely reward excellence. However, they are highly regarded by people in the industries; and they do like to be recognised and honoured. At this year’s Oscars all Will Smith had to was dress up, get to the venue, smile and wave, sit his ass down, pick up his award, give a speech, smile and wave again, sit his ass down; smile and wave some more and then leave. Instead he sat down in 2022, and then decided to get up in the 1920s and play out the dated “he done wronged my woman” trope and be a knave. So now him deciding to play the fool has us all looking like chumps and debating whether it’s ok to assault another person over an “insult”. 

As a Black man I am part of a larger community that has had to acknowledge and address historical and endemic violence by Black men towards women, children and the community in general. Particularly physical and emotional violence towards women. While tackling violence is a work in progress I had hoped that within the Black community there was acceptance that the pattern of violence that we had been seeing was wrong and needed to stop. Reading a lot the reactions to the ‘Oscars slap’, it is clear the problem of violence by Black men is as big a problem as it has ever been. 

No one should expect celebrities to be role models and they have a right to conduct their lives free from presumption and undue expectations. However, actions have consequences and when a person chooses to slap another on live television in front of millions around the world then you can expect ‘the butterfly effect’ to come into play. I’m sure that it is likely that in the week following ‘the slap’ there will be probably around five homicides or attempted homicides where the perpetrator would have had Will Smith’s action in mind before committing the act. They are going to think that after Will Smith they can’t now be caught slipping; and need to show that they are not punks. It has been unfortunate to see so many people trying to normalise this type of behaviour as being necessary in defence of his wife. One would have hoped that such people would be able to distinguish between protecting and defending a person. 

No one can say exactly what went through Will Smith’s mind in the moments before he stepped on stage to commit that egregious act but we all know what probably shouldn’t have. Over the coming weeks I’m sure he will be presented with many opportunities to give his perspective on what happened. I can only hope that whatever explanation he gives is honest and responsible. 

Manning Up

Black people face a lot of challenges in today’s world. Advancing themselves and uplifting their communities while dealing with personal demands and institutional prejudice place quite a strain on individuals. Tragically Black males have been frequently known to get involved in criminality, drugs and gender based violence. This comes out of a culture of toxic masculinity that has normalised both misogynistic and anti-social behaviour.

It needs to be acknowledged that too many young Black males are overly invested in living out a ‘gangsta’ fantasy. It is so bad that a majority of them are so committed to it that they can’t see any reason why it isn’t a viable life choice. If you add the lack of any real ambition outside of making quick money, and toxic masculinity to the equation; we are now dealing with a young underclass that cannot see the potential of a big blue sky and instead is settling for a hole in the ground. 

The double whammy of materialism and violence has had a detrimental effect on Black families and women. Not only is the behaviour of Black males devastating domestic family life, it is also tearing apart the community fabric that Black people have been so dependent on for survival. This is not to say that there aren’t negative external pressures that are hurting the Black society. Racism, poverty, discrimination, unemployment, low educational achievement are equally problematic. However Black males have become an issue that we can no longer ignore. 

The corruption of the Black male psyche is a generational issue that has created an endemic problem. It is difficult to expect more when the individuals have very little self worth and awareness. If all they value are material things and machismo then by adulthood we are being left with too many lost causes. The numbers of Black men not in education or employment, involved in the criminal justice system or who have a history of abuse and violence speak for themselves. 

There aren’t any miracle cures for the problem but families have a responsibility to instil good values in their youth. The Black community also needs to do a better job of promoting wholesome role models. People who know the harm that systemic racism has been doing but are still committed to improving themselves and the people around them. Being a better man is not about being a superstar it’s about supporting yourself and those people you come into contact with.