The other day I heard someone blasting an R. Kelly song in their car while driving down the street and it made me think about how we allowed his musical success to prevent us from expressing reservations about his behaviour. There is no doubt that the people around him should have called him aside at some point and told him to stop. Not that it would have made any difference to him. However, there were enough signs for those of us listening to and buying his music to wonder exactly what was going on with him. As it turned out, it wasn’t until years later when the videos leaked that people really started to sit up and take notice. By then it was already too late for his victims, the community and he himself.
When he released his second album we should have taken note of the themes of female domination and subjugation that were so very clearly front and centre in the songs. And we should have taken the stories about him marrying Aaliyah more seriously. There is no way the signs coming through shouldn’t have alarmed us. And it definitely shouldn’t have taken us so long to look a little closer into what was going on.
Unfortunately, in today’s celebrity obsessed culture it is not possible to say that this will not happen again. However, Black people have to start taking another look at how we respond to sexual abuse in close knit communities and religious settings. We need to make it safe for children and women to speak out against sexual abuse without being stigmatised and ostracised in their families and communities. Black people are often reluctant to be seen to drag down prominent Black figures in the community. However, speaking out and acting against abuse and assault cannot be shied away from. It is a responsibility we owe to all girls, women, children and society as a whole. We need to listen to victims and act to confront and put a stop to abuse wherever it is happening. Unless we ourselves change our attitudes to abuse nothing will get better.
