For Better, or Until the Break Up!

I read a recent news report in which a woman has filed a claim against the estate of her former partner (who has since died) claiming she was misled in negotiating a settlement based on a falsely reported lower net worth. They were in a 19 year relationship but broke up and her partner died a year later. She now wants the courts to review the case and award her a higher settlement. The case has now gone to appeal. 

Negotiating a settlement after the break up of a marriage or relationship is a necessary evil. No one prays for a marriage to end but sometimes you have to plan for the possibility. In principle I agree with the payment of spousal support. If a partner has sacrificed a career or personal ambition to create a good family and home then they should be reasonably considered to have contributed to the income that the partner brings into the household. In some cases where spouses are more of a trophy there may not be so much of a contribution. But that's why there are prenuptial agreements. Whatever people say, love doesn't insure you against future loss. No matter how much love you start out with if things break up the then it can get messy.

In practice though, the laws in many countries are very antiquated when it comes to dealing with spousal settlements. They either cast the woman as a helpless stray who will not be able to survive unless the ex partner supports her; or they offer no protection whatsoever to women who have devoted their lives to bringing up children and maintaining a home. The law in some of these cases ends up fostering a feeling of unfairness and creating further hostility between already unhappy people. 

Unfortunately, religious guidance hasn't always proved helpful or conclusive in resolving relationship disputes. A lot of religious texts do tend to apportion all the power to the man. This is unlikely to help matters in situations where the man hasn't been very reasonable. That notwithstanding there is plenty of counselling about how to have a good relationship but not much about how to achieve a good break up. It will take a shift in legislation and social norms to address the anomalies in break up settlements. In the meantime, amidst all the loving and hugging people better keep a watchful eye on how much money their partners are earning.