Relationship Readiness

Relationships are the main thing that define existence. Whether you are a human being, animal, plant, chemical, binary code or number. They are a defining feature of humanity. They represent the essence of any society. It's the relationship between things that creates the order of elements, and yields the laws of nature. But relationships between people represents the most complicated of them all. Both for the individuals involved and the interaction between them. 

Growing up we learn how to relate to parents, siblings, relatives, neighbours, friends, strangers, professionals, symbols of authority, the world around us, and who we are as dynamic individuals (physically, mentally and emotionally). This learning conditions us for how we relate in the future and how we see our place in the world as a whole. Some of it involves socialisation, but there is also an element of an individual personality forming and starting to assert itself. In essence, our minds start to establish what is right and what is wrong in relation to the things we experience in life. 

One of the key experiences that serves as both a motivation and goal in our future lives is romantic relationships. And for many the question of whether they are ready for a relationship will dawn on them in the midst of all the chaos that is life. For some relationships are something they enter into instinctively and are immediately at ease with. For others they start of with a lot of soul searching on what relationships are or should be. Others find themselves, later in life questioning what relationships mean to them after a number of varied experiences.

So when are we ready for relationships? There are many phases of relationships that occur throughout a person’s life. In childhood we form friendships, and ‘special’ friendships. In fact in infancy even our parents and the adults around us start to point us towards romances with all sorts of snot nosed toddlers. As we grow older though we start to identify that person who we really like. But these are still just friendships born out of affection and closeness. Quite innocent really. However, with the terrible teens come the urges and the territorial claims. We have that person who is now our own. Nevermind, that we don't feed or cloth them; or even pay for their call credit. We’ve found that person we just can't do without. Though that doesn't stop us waking up in the morning, checking Facebook, posting on Instagram and putting on our “to die for” outfit for the day. At this point things are serious and urges are bursting forth from our bodies as frequently as pimples. 

The truth is that it's all so easy when we're young. When we get older knowledge and experience start to flash cautionary tales before our eyes that loom larger than a Hollywood blockbuster. We become more anxious about how things will end up rather than how they will start off. We ask ourselves if we’re ready. Or we ask ourselves if we that cool person we just met could be the one. Once we’re consumed with doubt then it is time to take a step back and question our readiness. If you're not in the right frame of mind then it will never be the right place and time. Sometimes wanting it isn't enough. You have to have what it takes to make it work. 

I think human beings are born ready for relationships and are instinctively drawn into them. That being said one must be prepared for relationships. Championship eaters tell us all the time you can't just dive into the food and start stuffing your face. You need to train hard, get your game right and know what you're getting yourself into. You need to be ready! In relationships it's important you know yourself too. If it's salvation you're seeking then look to God. A good relationship with the Almighty will set you right. However if it's romance you're considering then take a step forward and gird your loins but proceed with caution. Relationships can turn out to be a really rough and revealing rollercoaster. The kind that churns your stomach and snaps your belt while you're whooping with joy (but that's what some of us live for). The kind that makes you giggle and then leaves you crying. The kind that makes someone tell you the most stupid nonsense and it falls on your ears like worldly wisdom. The kind that has someone touching you in all the right places and you doing all the wrong things. 

So ready or not, when you meet someone you like; ask yourself some questions. How well do you know them? What do you know about them? What do you like about them? What don't you like about them? What do you have in common? What is unique about them? What do they want from life? What do they want from you? If you're not afraid to ask these questions then you're ready to set off on a path to finding out the answers. But remember that when you take step forward it's easier to look back than it is to turn back.

Go forth and relate!