Ungentlemanly Conduct

Being considered a gentleman used to be the the highest mark of culture and sophistication that all men in society aspired to. Those were times when chivalry meant protecting a woman's honour; involved bloodshed and keeping them away from most aspects of social interaction. It will come as no shock that people who came up with the code that defined gentlemanly conduct were anything but decent people. The idea was mostly an artifice used by the upper classes to separate themselves from lower classes and boost their vain egos. These noble 'gentlemen' were notorious for abusing their spouses and children, and being ritually unfaithful to their wives. Some gentlemanly kings were well known for locking up and slaughtering their wives. Hardly a group of men whose behaviour is worthy of emulation by future generations. 

Nowadays being a gentleman seems to have become a badge that some men wear to justify being pretentious and judgemental towards women. It allows them to actually prescribe how women should behave in order to be respectable and desirable to men. These men claim that as gentlemen women should let them take the lead and relegate women to the role of passive recipients. This involves the woman making herself appear helpless, being permitted by men to talk, and being sexually available only when the man deems it fit to approach her. 

It has become common for men to consider the crowning glory of a gentleman to be treating a woman like a lady. In essence the woman is defined by the man's perception of her. It brings to mind the saying, "a woman should be a lady in the parlor, and a whore in the bedroom". This is a view of women proudly put forward by many a gentleman. The gentleman sees the lady as his prize. She is there for the sole purpose of glorifying and satisfying him. In doing so these gentleman deny women any ownership of their own sexuality. To them a woman cannot be sexually assertive because the man might not be ready for her and hasn't given her permission to switch to sexual mode. Any attempt a woman makes to express herself sexually is seen as dishonouring herself. Gentleman are experts in recognising when a woman has shamed herself and refused to be ladylike. If a woman is sexually expressive they see her as usurping the role of the gentleman. God forbid that she has sexual nous and wants to take the lead. This is anathema to the gentleman who must dictate when and how the bedding must take place. A woman who is sexually aware and assertive is labeled loose and common. Clearly she must have sullied herself in the beds of many men. For the gentleman a woman must be meek, mild and malleable when it comes to sex.

So for all those women out there seeking a gentleman as a partner be careful what you ask for. The code of the gentleman honours no one but himself.